Whether you have cancer, or you are a loved one of someone with cancer, you are likely to be experiencing difficult and painful feelings, thoughts and emotions.
You may be angry, sad, scared or anxious. Maybe you are experiencing difficulties in your personal relationships or work life.
Counselling for anyone affected by Cancer in the UK
Diagnosis
Regardless of whether it is yourself or someone close to you, the initial shock, fear and anxiety of a cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming and difficult to manage.
Maybe you fear the effects of the disease, the treatment, the impact it may have on your loved ones and your future. There is still a great deal of uncertainty that comes with a diagnosis. It is normal to feel lost and confused. Ultimately the idea of being in a life-threatening situation can be extremely hard to cope with.
Treatment
Cancer treatment often takes over a person’s life. You, your family and friends are all focused on it, hoping that you will recover and move on from this difficult time in your life.
You may be experiencing many new physical symptoms or side effects of your treatment. The physical symptoms of specific cancers, such as incontinence and sexual dysfunction, can be difficult to process. It can also be hard to come to terms with any changes in body image, such as weight or hair loss. It is common to experience a crisis of identity following a cancer diagnosis. You may feel that your new identity is ‘cancer patient’.
Life after Treatment
Often, this is a time of new challenges and returning to what you see as ‘normal’ is often harder than anticipated. Returning to life as it was, with its existing pressures, along with managing the uncertainty of cancer returning, or managing to live with cancer, can be overwhelming. You may be left with a feeling of emptiness, anxiety and isolation. For some people, suddenly seeing your doctors and nurses less often can be worrying.
Challenges may include:
-Addressing any emotional or psychological consequences of having survived cancer and invasive cancer treatments.
-Dealing with disfigurement or the loss of a body part (if treatment required surgery).
-Loss of one’s sense of self or identity, including loss of confidence.
-Stress and anxiety about returning back to work.
-Feelings of hopelessness and uncertainty around survival and death can also have a detrimental impact on well-being.
Terminal Illness
Whether you yourself or someone you love has terminal cancer it can be very difficult and painful to come to terms with the diagnosis. There is no ‘stock’ response to hearing this news and there is no right or wrong way to react. At first, you may feel numb and unable to digest what you’ve just heard, but as time passes it’s likely that you’ll experience a range of different emotions.
You may feel:
-shocked about the diagnosis
-fearful of dying
-resentful and angry over the unjustness of the situation
-in denial about what’s happening
-helpless because you cannot control what’s going on
-relief and perhaps eventually, acceptance, as you come to terms and make peace with the situation.
Maybe you are the loved one of someone with a terminal diagnosis. Most of us think of grief as something which happens after a death. When a loved one receives a terminal diagnosis, grief can begin right there and then. All the feelings and thoughts experienced at this time can be just as intense and difficult as those after a loved one has died.
Those who care for people with terminal illness are also at increased risk of anxiety and depression. You may also experience feelings of guilt if you take time off from caretaking, even though not devoting adequate time to self-care may lead to resentment, stress, and caregiver burnout.
Bereavement
Few things compare to the pain of losing someone you love. It can feel overwhelming. There is no right or wrong way to feel during the bereavement period - everyone copes in their own way.
You may experience waves of intense and very difficult emotions, ranging from profound sadness, emptiness, and despair to shock, numbness, guilt, or regret. You might rage at the circumstances of your loved one’s death—your anger focused on yourself, doctors, other loved ones. You may even find it difficult to accept the person is really gone, or struggle to see how you can ever recover and move on from your loss. You might be finding it difficult to adjust to the changes happening in your life right now. Grief can shake everything up - your beliefs, your routines, and even your sense of normality.